Just a Misunderstanding

I'm sure by now you have heard about Idaho Senator Larry Craig's arrest and subsequent guilty plea to lewd behavior in an airport bathroom. According to the arresting officer, Craig entered the bathroom stall next to the undercover officer and tapped his right foot. This is supposedly a signal for sex. Then Craig allegedly put his foot under the stall wall and touched the officers foot and then reached under the stall wall repeatedly with his hand. Of course, Craig had a perfectly reasonable explanation for this, he has a "wide stance" when he goes to the bathroom.

Over the past few days the wide stance explanation has been joke fodder throughout the media. Apparently, people seem to think that this is funny. Well, it's not funny! Wide Bathroom Stance (WBS) is a serious disorder and often goes unrecognized. It is believed to be caused by a deficiency of vitamins C and D during childhood bone and muscle development. Those suffering from this condition have difficultly balancing themselves on conventional toilets and thus have to assume a wide stance to avoid falling off the seat. At home, WBS patients can have a special toilet seat installed that provides additional support, but in public WBS sufferers must make do as best as they can. An unfortunate, but all too common side effect, is sudden and uncontrollable spasms of the legs and arms. This can cause the victim to inadvertently bump individuals in adjacent stalls, an embarrassing situation for everyone involved. This can sometimes be controlled by medication, but it is not 100% effective.

So you see that Sen. Craig is really the victim here, and the police should have been more sensitive to his condition. WBS is an embarrassing condition, and it is likely that Sen. Craig initially plead guilty to avoid revealing his disease to the public. Once again, the media viciously attacked and slandered another person in a position of responsibility without checking their facts. If there is one positive outcome of Sen. Craig's unfortunate situation, it is that it will increase public awareness of WBS as a medical condition and help facilitate the search for a cure to this debilitating disease.