Given the proliferation of awards shows from movies to music to video games, it seems like anyone can give out an award for just about anything. Thus, it seems only fair that I should be able to make my own movie awards list. My categories are a bit unorthodox, but I think they reveal some under recognized achievements in movie making. Here they are. Enjoy!
- Best Air Guitar - Mike Myers and Dana Carvey, Wayne's World
- Best Haircut - Javier Bardem, No Country for Old Men
- Best Air Bite - Val Kilmer, Top Gun
- Best Trench Run when it would have made more sense to fly directly to the thermal exhaust port - Star Wars
- Best Tell-Off Line - "Nobody puts Baby in a corner", Patrick Swayze, Dirty Dancing
- Best Care Bear Stare - Care Bears, The Movie
- Best Movie Scene Illustrating an Economic Principle - Nicolas Cage buying oranges, City of Angels
- Most Superfluous and Incomprehensible Oral Sex Scene in the History of Movie Making - Hugh Jackman receiving oral sex with a gun to his head while trying to hack into the Department of Defense, Swordfish
- Filmmaker with the most creepy preoccupation with midgets - George Lucas, pretty much every movie he has made other than American Graffiti
- Dumbest Movie about Genetics - Gattica
- Most Boring Movie Ever Made - Santa Claus versus the Martians
- Steamiest Soil Room Scene - Zoolander
And my personal favorite
- Best Death Involving a Logging Truck - Meg Ryan, City of Angels
3 comments:
I bet you were just disappointed that they couldn't find a gene for the human spirit. Admit it, isn't that the real reason you didn't like Gattaca?
Hugh Jackman got his BJ while trying to hack into the CIA, not the DOD.
My mistake. Understandably, I have only actually seen the movie once, and I don't think it would be prudent to see it again.
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