I Think It's Time for Me to Leave

My time in Georgia is rapidly drawing to a close. My decision to leave was not made lightly, but it is most certainly mutual. I mean everything started out great, but eventually we grew apart. Finally, things turned nasty.

In the beginning Atlanta was new and exciting. Here it is common (and in fact encouraged) to drive 75 to 80 in a 55 zone. There were strip clubs on every corner, and housing prices were half of what they were in DC. But after awhile, it's the little things that get to you. Georgia tried to change me, and I didn't want to be changed. It told me I wasn't allowed to drink on Sunday and that accepting the overwhelming scientific evidence in favor of evolution has set me on a path straight toward Hell.

Even so, we were able to overlook our differences. After all, we were having a good time. Georgia only made me work four hours a day, and I paid Georgia taxes and quietly accepted that my state representative, state senator, and house representative are political extremists that run unopposed in every election.

But then I made the fatal mistake of talking about Georgia behind its back. I just needed to vent, and I only discussed our problems with people I trusted. Even so, word must have made it back because that's when the passive aggressive behavior began. And let me tell you that the first retaliatory act was a doozy. Last September, my favorite strip club, Girls-R-Fun, shut down (an event documented by Sarah). Now I will never get to go. I was saving it for my graduation celebration, but now that will never happen.

Things continued downhill from there. Not long afterwards, the only radio station I listened to shut down. Georgia was trying to tell me something. We tried to patch things up, but about then I started talking to my old state, Virginia, again. When Georgia found out, it went ballistic. GDOT closed the exit I use to get to work and eliminated a lane from the highway. At that point things were pretty much over. I told Georgia I was moving out. Fortunately, Virginia has agreed to take me back.

I'm looking forward to it. Really. Things are going to be different this time around. I won't complain at all about the long commutes and outrageous real estate prices...I'm screwed.